Spontaneous Human Invisibility

Top 10 Horror of '06

2007-03-31T17:12:00.000-05:00

I know everyone's dying to know my opinion of the top 10 Horror Movies of '06 as listed by Rotten Tomatoes . I am the Horror Genre Guru, after all. Seek and revere my professional opinion.

And here we go:

Top 10 Horror Movies of 2006

10. An American Haunting

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

8. The Omen

7. Silent Hill

6. Saw III

5. Final Destination 3

4. The Hills Have Eyes

3. Hostel

2. Slither

1. The Descent

First of all: Fuck! These suck. Not all of the movies listed, no, but the order they are in, definitely. So here's the appropriate order (assuming I keep the movies on this list.)

10. Slither - this movie was absolutely horrible. It had some funny parts (notice I say "funny" and not "scary") but clearly does not deserve to be on this list at all.

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - The best part of this movie was seeing it end.

8. The Descent - It had my vote until.. Well, it never really had my vote.

7. An American Haunting - If I recall correctly I didn't mind this movie at all, but the end left something to seriously be desired.

6. The Hills Have Eyes - I remember seeing it, but I don't remember much of it so it didn't have much of an impact.

5. The Omen - Pretty good movie, but doesn't rank above the next four. Absolutely not.

4. Final Destination - I loved all of the Final Destination movies and this one was probably my favorite, although it would be hard to choose.

3. Hostel - I hate this movie. Really, really, really hate it. So why did it make #3? Because as far as horror movies go, it was very good. I found it very distasteful and disturbing but it is well done, it is realistic and it is horrifying based on it's realism potential.

2. Saw III - Choosing between Silent Hill and Saw III for the number one spot was a challenge. The Saw movies are excellent. Every.Single.One. so far. This is one series I hope keeps going. For-ev-er.

1. Silent Hill - Cannot be topped. I've seen it probably at least 8 times, most likely more, and it never gets boring to me. I would love to see a second Silent Hill.

Sincerely,
Your Horror Guru

Just a Post

2007-02-26T20:16:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted here for ages - thought I would.

So consider this my post.

ahem......

2006-11-16T07:19:00.000-06:00

so where the hell is everyone?

Religion

2006-11-04T14:43:00.000-06:00

Eddie Izzard

2006-11-04T14:09:00.000-06:00

Yes I like a transvestite comedian. Its been awhile and boy have I been busy, this is the first time in weeks that I am able to catch my breath and I come here with tranny crap. Well he's funny and this is some of his quotes.

Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "Raar-ra-ra-yum-yum-yum". And occasionally they stop and they go [gasps, starts, then pauses and looks around, wide-eyed] As if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? [sudden happy realization] No! No, I'm a fucking squirrel!" [munching nuts]

"Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!" "Well, the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!" "Well … that's because they're cheating!"

If women fall over wearing heels, that's embarrassing; but if a bloke falls over wearing heels, then you have to kill yourself! It's the end of your life, it's quite difficult

We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" And they're going, "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag? … No flag, no country!"

After the war, there was this feeling of no empire no longer … "All right, come on, Europe, give these countries back. Britain?" "What?" "What's that behind your back?" "Oh, it's India and a number of other countries." "Give them back." "Oh, all right. This one goes here and that one there. Oh, we need the Falkland Islands … for strategic sheep purposes."

"Hi! I'm Crazy Eddie! I put babies on spikes. Do you want a rack of babies? We've got babies on racks! Mmm, they taste of chicken!" They do! Babies taste of chicken! Cannibals say that human flesh tastes of chicken, so babies must taste of chicken. And chicken tastes of humans. Good, I'm glad you're coming with me on that

They set off from Plymouth and landed in Plymouth. How lucky is that? "This is Plymouth? We've just come from Plymouth! We've gone round in a circle, guys, back on the boat."

"Now I'm going to marry my first wife, then I'm going to divorce her. Now, I know what you're going to say, but stick with me, my story gets better! I'm going to marry my second wife, then I'm going to kill her! Cut her head off! Ah, you weren't expecting that, were you? Third wife, going to shoot her! Fourth wife, put her in a bag! Fifth wife, into outer space! Sixth wife on a Rotissomat! Seventh wife will be made out of jam …"

So King Henry, who was played by Sean Connery for this picture, said: "Then I will start a new religion. The, uh … Psychotic Bastard Religion." And an aide said, "Why not call it Church of England, sire?" "Aye, Church of England – even though I am Scottish, myself."

But no, at 13 you're just going, "'Ello Sue … I've got legs … D'ya like … bread? I've got a French loaf. [smack] Byeee! I love you!"
(On puberty and lacking the verbal ability to chat up girls)

Pears can just fuck off too. 'Cause they're gorgeous little beasts, but they're ripe for half an hour, and you're never there. They're like a rock or they're mush. In the supermarket, people banging in nails. "I'll just put these shelves up, mate, then you can have the pear." … So you think, "I'll take them home and they'll ripen up." But you put them in the bowl at home, and they sit there, going, "No! No! Don't ripen yet, don't ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room! Ripen! Now now now!"

Makeups just crazy anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did alright for them... until uhh... well, until you killed them all."

I am two lesbians in a man's body.

Check out some of his stand up, fucking a mate

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T06:30:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone has a great halloween, and you all get lots of candy..

Must watch Halloween movie

2006-10-30T06:29:00.000-06:00

Are you all ready for this?

Hostel - sounds relatively benign doesn't it.... watch it... I still get the shivers when I think of it..

Horror movie scale 1 to 5 this has gotta be 6 stars...

The new car

2006-10-24T06:39:00.000-05:00

This one is not it, but it's what I am working out a deal on right now..(by me I mean hubby of course)

T-Roofs, Turbo (grunts here while drooling), white, tan leather interior, fancy rims, good stereo.... what can I say I'm in love.. ok guys I got one that looks almost exactly like the white one.... tan interior and lots of chrome on the outside..

Granny's Hip Replacement Surgery

2006-10-17T08:52:00.000-05:00

So now that I'm nicely recovered, I thought I would share with you all the new situation..

Granny is going for her hip replacement surgery tomorrow. She's over 70 and has osteoperosis so keep her in your thoughts, as I hear how she is I will update you all.

Animal Rescuers Creed

2006-10-16T18:20:00.000-05:00

I am an Animal Rescuer

My job is to assist God's creatures. I was born with the need to fulfill their needs. I take in new family members without plan, thought or selection.

I have bought dog or cat food with my last dime. I have patted a mangy head with a bare hand. I have hugged someone vicious and afraid.

I have fallen in love a thousand times and I have cried into the fur of a lifeless body. I have Animal Friends and friends who have animal friends.I don't often use the word "pet."

I notice those lost at the road side and my heart aches. I will hand raise a field mouse and make friends with a vulture. I know of no creature unworthy of my time.

I want to live forever if there aren't animals in Heaven, but I believe there are. Why would God make something so perfect and leave it behind? We may be master of the animals, but the animals have mastered themselves-- something people still haven't learned.

War and Abuse makes me hurt for the world, but a rescue that makes the news gives me hope for mankind. We are a quiet but determined army, and making a difference every day. There is nothing more necessary than warming an orphan, nothing more rewarding than saving a life; No higher recognition than watching them thrive. There is no greater joy than seeing a baby play who only days ago, was too weak to eat.

I am an Animal Rescuer, My work is never done, My home is never quiet. My wallet is always empty, but my heart is always full In the game of life, we have already won.

So I'm back

2006-10-16T07:29:00.000-05:00

to work yay... not

Actually I was starting to enjoy being a little housewife, believe it or not...

But the time has come to return to work, and here, and everywhere else I may be required... I also wanted to say thanks guys for being such a great support while I was going through all of this, you all help me kept my sanity and I appreciate everything..

Anyways the purpose of this post is:

I watched Click last night, it could have been a really funny movie, Adam Sandler is a funny guy but it just didn't do it for me... There were a couple of funny scenes but by no means was I laughing through the whole movie..

so we'll give this movie 2 out of 5 stars due to ok story line, kinda funny but not the greatest.

By Show of Hands How Many of You Have Been Cursed?

2006-10-13T20:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I have…it’s not fun. I am not talking about being called names such as “pansy ass boy bitch” and “degenerate jackass”, that stuff does not bother me. Those are terms of endearment. I am talking about actually being cursed…voodoo style!

I have been cursed. Nothing really major, my power has just gone out for no apparent reason and occasionally I fell ill after being given the cyber death stare. These things usually happen after Vixen get pissed at me, which happens more that you can imagine. All of these things I can live with but I have seen the power of “the voodoo”. I no longer doubt it and I do not want to tempt it. The last thing that I want is for body parts to start falling off. It could happen. Voodoo knows no boundaries when spawned from a pissed off woman.

With that being said Vixen told me that it was about time to post. I really didn’t realize that it had been so long since my last post. When you are as awesome as I am occasionally time will fly by. I have to clarify here that in no way am I scared of Vixen. She is not scary even though she thinks she is, her voodoo on the other hand is a force to be reckoned with, and I really don’t feel like going to the witchdoctor on a Saturday. Have I told you the story about the time I owned Vixen? No, well I will save that for another time. Let’s talk about this week’s renter.

In the wee hours of the morning today I was given four blogs to choose from that were in the running to rent from this blog, which is the epitome of cool. Anyway, it was late and the first blog I linked to had music playing. I hate music playing on blogs. Here is the deal, most blogs suck; there is no reason to add some transcendental mediation music to your blog to highlight the fact that it sucks. Blog one rejected!

On to blog two, I can’t remember it. Blog two rejected!

Blog three was like having to listen to a Nickelback CD. Nickelback is the worst thing to happen to music since Poison. Chad Kroeger sounds like he is having his nuts painfully removed while receiving shots of estrogen in every one of his fucking songs. Needless to say blog three was rejected.

That leaves Blog 4. I have to say I was not feeling too positive when I clicked on the link. That soon changed when I saw a post entitled “My Mother is a Bitch.” Awesome! I now know how the second giraffe felt when he was chosen to join Noah on the Ark. Actually the blog is highly entertaining and it made me laugh several times. Its JDV approved. Go visit her blog or risk having your body parts mysteriously removed by “The VooDoo.”

Newest Renter

2006-10-04T21:25:00.000-05:00

I posted the links to the blogs that bid this week and it was actually JDV that chose this one. He's a slacker though so I shall introduce her. I previously rented to Jack's Raging Mommy on my blog not too very long ago. She clued me into SWOPping and therefore shall always hold a very righteous spot in my heart. Here's a flashback:

Anyway, can you believe it? I rented to a Mommy blog! And I even did so on purpose. Go check out Jack's Raging Mommy. Because if I can dig it, so can you.

And as always the "fuckin' special" are forever welcome here.

The customary introductory post

2006-09-29T10:28:00.000-05:00

So as everyone knows here, I have a creative deficiency and an extreme lack of imagination, and I have always hated to have to do intro posts..

If you feel so inclined, you can take a look at the sidebar and visit the Canadian Views sites if you would like to find out more. You can also visit me at "myspace.com/tjcanuck"

Other than that I am quite boring, I'm happily married to a wonderful guy and have a furry little bastard (pussy cat) named Baz..

What could you possibly want to know about me? I'm 36 years old for a little longer at least, I'm Canadian, I have short hair that seems to change color frequently from the darkest brown I could find to platinum blond (my next color) to red, I like doing things to keep people on their toes what can I say. I have a sarcastic and dark sense of humor, which only the people at this blog seem to appreciate..

My favorite color is black, my favorite type of food is Italian, I drive a SUV in the winter and have a couple of summer cars, I want a Smoky and the Bandit Trans Am, I enjoy camping, fishing, reading especially Stephen King, watching movies, all types of music but my favorite is 80's hair bands, Def Leppard, Nickleback, Metallica, Ozzy Ozbourne, AC/DC, Hinder, Poison, Whitestarr, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Kiss, Guns & Roses, Tragically Hip - ok you get the picture..

I have a thing for guys who shave their head - really.. I think it's very sexy..

Well that's all I got for now if you want to know more just ask... or maybe I'll get motivated enough to do a "100 things to know list" - stranger things have happened..

Have a great day people and I'll see ya all soon.

Elmo

2006-09-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

This would scare the shit out of me, thank god this devil doll wasnt around when I was young.

Tammy bound over for trial - Update

2006-09-24T15:25:00.000-05:00

Date: Sep 22, 2006 2:42 AM
Subject Tammy bound over for trial-Best Friends announces new law
Body: Tammy Grimes Bound Over For Trial On Theft Charges; Best Friends Announces Citizen's Good Samaritan Law.
http://network.bestfriends.org/animallawcoalition/news/7559.html

Update September 22, 2006
Following a preliminary hearing, a state court judge ordered Tammy Grimes of Dogs Deserve Better bound over for trial. Judge Craig Ormsby found probable cause to try Grimes on charges of theft.
Best Friends Animal Society has proposed a citizen's good Samaritan law. Under such a law, the text of which is set forth below in the earlier report, citizens would be able to enter the property of another for the limited purpose of taking an animal to a veterinarian, if needed, or otherwise providing emergency care for an animal. Of course, efforts must first be made, as they were in Grimes' case, to notify the owners and animal control.
Please go here for full and complete detailed information:

http://network.bestfriends.org/animallawcoalition/news/7559.html

There you will find links to DDB, the videos of Doogie before and after Tammy had to intervene to save Doogies' life and a complete discussion with members interacting with each other on how to help Tammy. Also you will discover how to pass such a proposed law in your own community or state-let's end the suffering. Hope to see you there!

Top Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

2006-09-24T15:10:00.000-05:00

* - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that
people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the
Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

*- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed
to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the
elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women,
children, and trees!

* - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims
about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that
the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who
got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

* - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have
failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the
floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to
"prove" Christianity.

* - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to
answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.
And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of
God.

* - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do
about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call
yourself a Christian.

I'm here..

2006-09-22T08:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry I'm late good people but they say better late than never..

Will be back to offer my 2 cents very shortly....see you all soon.

Celebrity Death Match Theater Part III: Intermission

2006-09-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

Internet is for Porn

2006-09-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

This was just too funny not to post.

Help a fellow Rescuer.!!

2006-09-16T23:22:00.000-05:00

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Real Men Don't Hurt Animals.
Date: Sep 16, 2006 8:38 PM

If you see or come across an animal that needs Help or Rescue whether is a cat, dog, horse, rabbit etc... you do it Immediately . Don't be afraid of what can happen to you, You get up, Get out there and help our animal brothers and sisters.

Tammy Grimes, founder of Dogs Deserve Better, was arrested September 11, 2006 for helping a dying chained dog named Doogie who could not stand in East Freedom, Pennsylvania. Below are the details of the case, with photo and video documentation.

Tammy's statement: "I made a hard decision; this decision was that I could not have lived with myself or looked myself in the eye if I were such a coward as to leave Doogie lying there dying on the ground for fear of what would happen to me. I see this case as a travesty against justice...the true perpetrators of a crime are the people who left Doogie to lie there dying for three days without doing right by him. I am very saddened that we live in a society where people have to be afraid to do the right thing, to help those in need, whether that need be human or animal. Arrests such as mine are a pitiful statement for America, and I ask all dog lovers to stand with me to insist that all charges against me are dropped and charges of animal cruelty are instead placed against the Arnolds of East Freedom, PA. The Arnolds who left Doogie to die. This video truly speaks for itself, and for Doogie. I did what was morally right; I stand by my decision to help him and will be proud of it until my dying day. No one can take that from me."

doogiedown5.jpg

Here is the background info:

We got a call from Kim Eicher in East Freedom 9/11/06, crying because Doogie hadn't gotten up since Saturday. She had been calling the Central Pennsylvania Humane Society since Saturday to no avail. We told her we aren't law officers, and she needed to call the Humane Officer. We told her to make sure she left a message, very clearly, about the problem. Then we got another call about the same dog, from another person who passes him every day. At that point we called Kim back to see if she'd heard from the Humane Officer. She had not, was very, very upset and we were very worried about him, so we promised her we'd go out and see what we could do.

doogiedown2.jpg

When we arrived, we took photos and video of Doogie. We initially thought he was dead, as he was not moving and his back was to us. We found out that the people were not home to talk to about him, so I made the decision that I would not leave him lying there on the cold wet ground for one moment longer, and I would accept all consequences of my decision.

Kim Eicher has agreed to testify as to the animal cruelty perpetrated against Doogie. She cried the whole time we were there, you can hear her on the video. I think once you see the video and pictures, you'll understand why I made this decision.

doogiedown4.jpg

The vet documented his general negligent condition, low weight, sores, missing fur, and took xrays of his back and hips. He determined that he has very bad back spurs that are causing him a lot of pain and are most likely responsible for his inability to walk. He also saw an undetermined mass near his hip on the xray. He gave him a shot for pain plus some B vitamins for energy, so that perhaps he could have even one good day or a few good hours. He wrote a letter stating his condition.

doogiedown3.jpg

As we got to the vet, the CPHS Humane Officer Gotshall was just leaving, and he stopped us. He was about to go out to the residence. When he found out we had Doogie with us, he was not happy. I volunteered to take Doogie back and he could pick him up instead. He refused that, and stated that I should get him the vet care he needed, and to call him afterward on his cell.

When I later called him, he did not answer, I left a message asking him what he wanted me to do with Doogie, he never called back.

doogieface.jpg

Shortly after we got Doogie to my home, situated, bathed?had to, the stench was too bad?and fed and watered an Officer Flaig called from the Freedom Township Police Department (Freedom, isn't that ironic?). He wanted me to return Doogie, which I refused to do. I explained that I had video and photos documenting the animal cruelty, and the neighbor was willing to testify; why didn't he pursue that as they were the perpetrators of the crime, and should be charged? He refused, and was not interested in seeing my evidence.

doogiedishes.jpg

He and three other police vehicles arrived at my home at approximately 9:30 p.m. As I refused to hand Doogie over to be returned to death on a chain, and would not tell them where he was, I was taken into custody, transported to the East Freedom police office, and charged with theft, receiving stolen property, criminal mischief, and criminal trespass. I was released on $50,000 unsecured bond and ordered to appear at a preliminary hearing September 21, 2006.

doogiedown6.jpg

I was treated like a common criminal, especially by Chief Reilly, who called me a 'freakin' idiot', 'incompetent', and I overheard him telling Officer Flaig that if I ever came near his dog I would have a slug in my a**. Again, there was no interest in any evidence that the dog had been abused or criminally neglected. As far as they were concerned, the dog's safety or condition was not even an issue.

I was released after seeing Judge Aigner, where Chief Reilly asked that I be not given bail but incarcerated for my failure to cooperate. It was 2:00 a.m., and I had no ride home, over 30 miles away. I had to walk to a local all-night store to call and get a cab, because there was no concern over how I would get home. Their attempt to dehumanize me didn't work. I held my head high and still do. I looked Chief Reilly square in the eye at every opportunity. I will not be broken.

Here's what I need from you all. View the videos and photos. I think you'll agree with me that this is NOT acceptable in ANY way in any kind of civilized society. We cannot allow this kind of animal abuse. Period. Not ifs, ands, or buts. Insist that all charges against Tammy Grimes are dropped and animal cruelty charges are instead filed against the Arnolds of East Freedom, Pennsylvania. Pass along the photos and the video, or a link to it, as much as you possibly can.

Doogie laying on the ground, neighbor crying in background:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN9t1rv4pj4

Doogie after vet at Grimes house:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8wxGP1N7QQ

I could never look myself in the eye again, much less sleep at night, had I left Doogie there dying, shivering in the dirt.

Please, contact ALL media with these photos and videos. Get justice, for Doogie and for me. Do NOT allow this treatment of those who are here to help, and who actually care. Call the Central Pennsylvania Humane Society and tell them you expect them to stand with me against this kind of abuse, and that you expect them to return phone calls for dying dogs the same day.

Officer Flaig: Cell 814.201.0149

Freedom Township Police Headquarters: 814.695.8545

Central Pennsylvania Humane Society: 814.942.5402; cphs@altoonarail.net

Humane Officer Paul Gotshall: 814.942.3780

Altoona Mirror: 800.287.4480; pbanko@altoonamirror.com; news@altoonamirror.com

WTAJ-TV10: 814.944.1414 WJAC-TV 6: 814.255.7600

Honorable Craig Ormsby 800 East Main Street
Roaring Spring, PA 16673 814.224.4168

Honorable Paula Aigner 311 Union Street Hollidaysburg, PA 16648 814.693.3210

All national media! Make sure to send them links to the video, it's very compelling. Don't stop until there is Justice for Doogie and me! Any help with legal fees to get a competent attorney would be much appreciated.

Tammy S. Grimes

**Alert Updates** ( Bottom Line: keep calling, it's working!) 9/14/06.
Inside Edition is coming today to film. We will post asap when it is to air. W)

Rock Star SuperNova

2006-09-16T01:19:00.000-05:00

I didnt see much of this show, but I was more than super pissed about who won. Lukas come on, hes weak. Now Dilana, she fucking rocked to no end. I was able to catch the last two episodes and saw her perform and she blew the others smooth out of the water. She has the best voice of them all and her original was by far the best. Now I have a theroy on why she didnt win, because shes female and for some strange reason it just doesnt fly with an all male band. Besides I think she too good for them anyway, someone ought to snatch her up and give her a major record deal. Shes got some talent. Check out the vid if you havent seen it yet, she rocks.

For some reason its not working too well, damnit first try and this crap so here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnDyEKWw-Yk

Our Second Victim Renter!

2006-09-14T18:56:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Jen from Casual Slack. We had an overwhelming number of bidders this week, and had to narrow it down to just one. Thanks so much for your interest in our beeeutiful blog, and remember, there's always next week! (So that sounds like one of the five dozen Dear John letters I received before getting my current job.) We love you, we love you all! *blows kisses* Muah!

Anyway, so what sets Casual Slack apart? This post right HERE.

A Quotelet:
Last night I watched Animal Precinct I usually try to avoid this show because it infuriates & depresses me

Anyway these two scumbag women in Brooklyn

I had tears in my eyes as I watched it.

I think that in these situations... The people should have to suffer the same pain that they inflicted (followed by DEATH of course)

When I rule the world... things will be different!
I will hand out death penalties like candy!!

I vow to rid the world of all the nasty people!

Get over there and read the rest. Guess who has my vote?

Celebrity Death Match Theater Part II: Round Two

2006-09-11T22:40:00.000-05:00

***CLICK IMAGES TO ENLARGE***

Celebrity Death Match Theater Part I

2006-09-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

*** Click the images to enlarge***

2006-09-07T22:22:00.000-05:00

I stole it

2006-09-05T21:15:00.000-05:00

I have always wanted to post a pic with stolen written on it. So what do I do about my wifey, future refernce. Thanks for taking our innocence away, my parents are gonna be so pissed. Well dude I am slowly loosing O2 to the brain and its starting to show a little bit. Welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay here, and by god we are gonna do our best to get your ass pimped.

Drumroll, Please

2006-09-05T19:40:00.000-05:00

We've been overwhelmed by responses to our first attempt at renting out this blog. Unfortunately, we can only choose one. And a fine choice we made. Welcome to our very first renter, The Grocery List from Hell. Now dude, what shall we call you? I realized when you rented my blog that I never got your (screen)name. Anyway, welcome to the debut of our blog. I for one am thrilled to have you (again) and these two will be as well as soon as they get their asses over there and read.

Now in other news:

What the fuck?

Once Upon a Time

2006-09-04T21:53:00.000-05:00

So…

I was thinking about the perfect intro post. Introductions really are like job applications…do I lie or do I tell the truth?

Let’s see…

First my name is JDV. It really isn’t my name it’s my initials, and it means “awemazing.” Awemazing is the offspring of a passionate love making session between “Awesome” and “Amazing.” I may not have coined the phrase but I perfected it.

Anyway, a little about me…

Right now I do not have an active blog. Soon I will have a congregation or cult, if you will…think Heaven’s Gate but you get to keep your nuts…think Jonestown minus the dead bodies, you get the picture. There probably will be Kool Aid though; I mean come on who doesn’t like Kool Aid?

I strive for World Domination. Right now I see Kim Jong-Il as my main competition. But he is short, he sucks at public speaking, and his weapon of choice is the “ No-Dong” missile. I can take him without breaking a sweat.

With the help of the National Geographic channel I have become an experienced world traveler. I learned how to bootleg concerts from watching Rerun do it on What’s Happening. George Jefferson taught me the term “honky”, to this day I still use it. Every once in a while I will call someone a “ Big Dummy”, much love to Fred Sanford for that one. Mr. T educated me on the right way to accessorize my gold chains. John Stamos schooled me on the proper way to wear a mullet, it was a waste of time, John Stamos is an idiot, and everyone knows rat tales are where it’s at. Mike Seaver proved to me that it was possible to be a cool kid and grow up to be a complete moron. I learned how to outrun the law from The Bandit. I firmly believe (and I have proof to back this up) that if you give a monkey the opportunity he can do anything including running a Super Power. My proof is George Bush. And finally I perfected the art of forging doctors’ notes from apprenticing under Juan Epstein.

One last thing, Jerry Reed is a musical genius. He is underrated and underappreciated and that is a sin. The man is old , listen to him, he will not be around forever.

Fast Food Headaches

2006-09-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

I guess when you get paid 6 bucks an hour you are not required to be able to count to two. I went to McDonalds for breakfast this morning and I order Mcgriddle, 2 hasbrowns (they are 2 for a buck), and my 42 oz Dr.pepper. Now I doubt that I am the only one that takes advantage of the 2 for a dollar hashbrowns, why in gods name is it soo hard to get that right, its not like its a special order thing. Hell I stopped eating breakfast there cause of shit like this, the only reason I went back is cause I went to Burger King yesterday and I wanted biscuits and gravy, simple you think, but they were out of gravy of all things. Can someone explain this to me, you still have an hour left on the breakfsat menu and you run out of gravy, that more then likely comes in a bag and all they have to do is nuke it for a minute or two. God Im glad I dont do this during the week it would put a serious twist in my panties.

Its Speedy . . .

2006-09-03T19:33:00.000-05:00

You would think that I would be getting better at writing an intro post/get to know type of thing. Well I havent I still find it hard to explain myself to others. I guess Im just not the type of person who just opens up to strangers very well, so let me give this a shot.

Hi my name is Speed (aka. Niterydar, Speeddmon, Nite, Rydar, Pa, and probably a few other choice names that I will not mention). I work in construction as an electrician, that reminds me they also call me Sparky. Okay back to me, I dropped out of college, so yes Im not educated like the rest on here, but what I lack in that department I make up else where ;-). I grew up in construction basically all my life, I did have a stint where I tried to get away from it but it drew me back in with its death ray. I enjoy it for the most part, you are able to see the fruits of your labor almost instantly.

I do have a blog My (In)Sanity, would make that a link but Im lazy like that tho you will find it in the right hand side of the screen. Its not updated as often as it should be, I tend to use it as an outlet for my day to day life. You can also get ahold of me at Speeddmon79@gmail.com or on yahoo as speeddmon79.

I drive a little red pick me up, its been wrecked twice and about broken into once, bastards. Screw driver in the lock and still couldnt get in, retards. The first wreck was not my fault, a sheriffs mom hit me and then denied it until the cops showed up. Funny thing was she was in her sons car, I wonder how that conversation went when she got home. The second time I was at Vix's house and I guess I forgot the parking brake and it rolled into the telephone pole, my bad, that never got fixed but you have to look for it to really see the damaged.

I love me some music, Manson, Korn, ICP, and Slipknot are my favs. I tend to listen to alot of alternative and some rap. I also like some Massive Attack, Moby, and Perfect Circle mainly just to chill to. So in a round about way I listen to just about anything under the sun that strikes my fancy.

Well since Vix posted her stats I might as well to 26 (for a couple of weeks yet), 6'2", 225, medium build, dark brown hair, brownish green eyes and since I dont know all of you thats all you get for now.

Hobbies, I like to travel whenever possible even if its only an hour away, road trips they are a must in my book, K-State and Cheifs football games speaking of which I should be getting ready K-State played yesterday, go state. I like to build things doesnt really matter what it is as long as I get to build it. Tend to be a perfectionists, you know how long it took me and her to come up with the color schemes and I still dont think we totally like it, but its growing on me.

Thats gonna about sum it up for now, drop me a line anytime.

Father Figure

2006-09-03T15:41:00.000-05:00

Obligatory Intro Post

2006-09-03T10:36:00.000-05:00

If you haven't come over via my blog you probably don't know me. Unless by reputation and if that's the case you undoubtedly don't like me.

Go click on my name to your right over there and it'll tell you about me. What it doesn't tell you is that I spend far too much time online. This is why I take internet classes - so now I have a viable excuse for my junkie-ism.

Let's move forward with the bare basics. I prefer animals to people, movies to television, shoes to clothing (no matter how fat one gets, their shoes almost always fit), intelligence to stupidity, humor to seriousness, candy corn to any other candy (although this is subject to change at any moment), and the color black to white.

I have three dogs: Buster (Shepherd/Border Collie Mix), Anadyne (Retriever Mix), and Mr. Dingo Muttley (as the name insinuates). Buster and Annie live with my mom and Dingo lives with me. The three can't cohabitate without eventual bloodshed.

I am a Data Analyst (fancy name for office peon) in a Quality Management office. And am currently in a Health Information Technology program at the local college. I supplement the usually boring health info classes with the occassional law class which is what I actually enjoy. Those classes are becoming more numerous.

I hate bad country music, most '80's hair metal, rap, and opera. Other than that, I'm pretty versatile. Current favorites include Nickelback, Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Evans Blue, Hinder, Evanescence, and Candlebox.

If a movie has Gina Gershon, Samuel L. Jackson, Jennifer Tilley, Jim Carey, Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, or Scrat in it, I've either already seen it, have already made plans to, or don't know about it yet. And if you know about it and I don't, you'd better tell me. I've also seen most everything with Robin Williams but I don't care much for him, especially in comedies, because I always wind up feeling sorry for him. His comedies depress me.

Now for the visual. I'm 5'2, blond (although it's rare to see me that way) almost waist length, blue eyes, two tattoos, nose ring, lots of earrings etc, and shoe size 5-6 1/2 in womens 4 in mens. It'll be a cold day in hell that you get the rest of my measurements, even if I were a barbie doll. I drive an '03 silver Dodge Stratus with faery mats and steering wheel cover. It has pink flowers on the front windshield and a lotus flower on the back windshield. The rearview has a half sun/moon decoration and mini-handcuffs. My tag means "Reliever of Pain". All seeming too feminine and mushy for me, but fuck that, I know butterflies are evil.

That's all you really need to know upfront. If you're simply dying to know more about me check out 101 Things About Me, Even More Things About Me, or my Likes & Dislikes pages. And if you can't find what you really want to know in one of the above, just read the fuckin' blog.

Its Fine

2006-09-02T13:23:00.000-05:00

I think it looks good how it is, I know how much of a pain in thy ass the templates are. Go do your homework and mess with it later. PSP is showing me its love if that makes you feel anybetter.

And...

2006-09-02T12:57:00.000-05:00

This is as good as it's going to get for now. There's too much to adjust with these premade templates and I'm tired of fuckin' with it.

I'm off to do homework.

Just Because

2006-05-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

It's my day off and I'm bored. I'd been thinking about a new blog lately, even considering a replacement for The Daily Dildo but as I'm rather attached to it I doubt that'll happen. But here it is, the newest addition to the Vixen's Blog Harem.

If you'd like to be added to the link list to the left, do let me know either via comment to this post or email - scalvak@gmail.com.

I'm using a font named Serifa BT - I'm entirely not sure what it looks like if you don't have that font installed. Just to let you know, don't be afraid.

That said:

I promise no updates nor fascinating input here.